My Mom Was The Best Support I Had As A Single Mom Going Through Traumatic Childbirth
Being a single mom is already difficult without added health issues; if it weren’t for my mother, I’m not sure how I’d have coped through pregnancy, delivery of my son, and after.
I am a single mom. Divorce was never a choice I wanted to make in my life. It was only because I was pushed to an extreme that I had to finally cut all chords with my husband.
I had a weak and feeble physique after having a very difficult pregnancy. I could not leave the bed initially for three-four months after my C- section. I struggled with my breastfeeding. I was mentally totally drained out. Even my kid was down with neo-natal jaundice, pooping, and was unable to take proper feeds. Had my mom not been a retired nurse and nursed us with dedication, we would have not been here still, and, I would not have been able to write my story.
Gradually, as my physical health improved, I grew stronger mentally. I saw my baby happy and healthy in my mom’s arms. He bloomed with joy every time he saw his granny.
Sharing motherhood with Maa…
I decided to share my motherhood with my Maa, let her be with her darling grandson for most of the day. She selected his clothes, shopped for his toys, bicycle, chose his hairstyles. And, I relaxed. Almost feeling like a dad seeing the cute bonding of the duo.
My role had always been of a tough, little strict dad. I took care of his practical and educational needs, being soft inside but a little hard on the outer side
I’d always been boyish since childhood. I felt that friendship bonding easily growing up with my son. We did yoga together, played football together, and watched action movies together.
… but slowly feeling left out
But, suddenly I started feeling as though I was missing out on the motherhood part, and that the cuddles, the kisses, and the snuggles were all ‘stolen’ by my mom. This made me feel a void all of a sudden.
I entered into a severe clash with my darling mom.
I began to feel that with her age-old opinions and views, she often interfered with my parenting. That she started humiliating me in front of the baby for being unnecessarily harsh/ strict towards him.
I felt lost, isolated at home. As if homeless. The odd one out.
I began to spend more and more alone time, trying to solve the inner chaos and trying to find solutions. Until I realised – why not be a mother to both my mom and my son?! After all, Maa too is growing old. She is becoming more of a kid as days pass. She has given away every bit of her flesh and blood for my son and me. Why should I fight with her?! That was foolish and immature.
Feeling together again
Now, I feel happy seeing them share daily happenings with each other, and giggling. I go and hug them both. And sometimes, I parent them both.
It’s a happy bonding – the sweetest home we could have had. It’s a blessing indeed to co-parent your son with your mother as she is the one who knows you and loves you more than anyone else on this earth.
Image source: the author
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